Expectations

As it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.

Philippians 1:20

Good Morning, Girlfriends!

Did the sun rise on your day? I expect it did.

As a matter of fact, when I opened my eyes this morning, I expected the sun would be rising. I not only expected it because of the light filtering through my closed eyelids, but also because internally I just presume the sun will rise each morning that I wake.

Did you have your coffee or tea this morning? I expect you did.

As a matter of fact, when I went to the kitchen this morning, I expected the coffee maker would work and brew my drink. I not only expected it because I smelled my son-in-law’s cup of joe, but also because internally I just presume the Keurig will operate each time I need a pick-me-up.

Did you look at your computer today? I expect you did.

As a matter of fact, when I thought about writing a blog this morning, I expected my computer keyboard to light up. I not only expected it because I had barely put it away a few hours ago before bedtime, but also because internally I just presume my computer loves me and wants to function properly for me so I don’t yell at it.

Did you….did you…did you? I expect you did.

Why?

Because as a woman and human being, I…

Expect…

Assume…

Internally Presume…

Trust…

Believe.

But what if they computer crashed during the night?

What if they coffee make shorted out when turned on?

What if the sun did not rise and darkness prevailed?

Unmet Expectations.

False Assumptions.

External Reality Interfering with Internal Presumptions.

Uncertainty.

Doubt.

Disbelief.

The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.

Proverbs 10:28

Girlfriends, the reality is we all carry expectations whether we are aware of them or not.  Sometimes our expectations are grounded in experience of the world. For example, the sun rises every morning, sets at night, and rises again the next morning. We don’t consciously think about it, but we do expect it.

We all carry assumptions, grounded in reality or not. Most of the time, we can assume the coffeemaker will work because for the past however many months we’ve used it, coffee has come out every time. We don’t overthink it, but we do know that one day we will press that button and voila….nothing happens. But we never expect that day to be today.

We all presume certain things will happen as a result of our experience, assumptions, and knowledge of how the world works around us. I presume my computer will work because (1) I went to Mac and have never looked back, (2) my husband is obsessed with technology, and (3) I have a child-like faith that everything will operate the way it is supposed all of the time, despite my immature fits of anger when it doesn’t.

So, my friends, I assume about now you are saying to yourselves, “Jackie, get to the point!” Whether that is true or not, doesn’t really matter. I am still assuming it. And therein lies my point.

Ladies, we constantly make assumptions and have expectations that are often subconscious and ruled by our past experience, present state of mind, and the unique worldview we possess. Sometimes those expectations are met on a consistent basis, and all the world is at peace. Yet at other times, our assumptions run up against the expectations of others around us, and all hell breaks loose before we even realize what happened.  No one intended to hurt another’s feelings, because everyone presumed to be on the same page.

In reality, nothing in this life is promised to go as we expect or assume it will. Truthfully, we are told we will face trouble. (John 16:33) Expectations will not be met. Assumptions will make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” (Thanks to my high school volleyball coach for first pointing that out to me.) And presuming leads to let-down, which in turn leads to all-consuming attempts at controlling what, in reality, only God holds in His hands: the future and the people around us.

Girlfriends, my message to you and to myself today comes from that same verse that promises us trouble in life: John 16:33.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

TAKE HEART! Have PEACE. Jesus has overcome the world of expectations, assumptions, and presumptions with the only truth that we can truly and unequivocally trust and believe: He loves us, and He has final victory.

Victory over fear…

Over false or unmet expectations…

Over pain and suffering…

Over broken promises and shattered hearts….

Over death and dying….

Over every earthly concern you or I can imagine.

He experienced it. He fought the fight. He won the war.

And although the battle rages on inside our souls and between people on this earth,

you can raise your eyes to heaven in the morning, lift that cup of coffee to your lips, and confidently proclaim to the world (through your computer-aided social media) that JESUS REIGNS!

So consciously today make an effort to LET GO. Surrender. Lay it all at the feet of Jesus, the Lamb of God who came and conquered in a way the Jews never assumed would happen: SURRENDER! He did not build an Army and go to battle on earth against the Romans. No! He waved a white flag and laid down His life for you and me, and when God raised Him from the dead, He built the most powerful Army ever to fight the real battle…the spiritual one raging right now for our eternity.  Satan is using your expectations, your assumptions and your presumptions against you. Take back control with conscious prayer, proclaiming the Word of God you know to be holy and right. Do not live in a spirit of fear! Live in the Light of Christ….and have PEACE!

Girlfriends, today, His peace is with you….Expect it!  

No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Revelation 22:3-5

Trusting the Lord

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; 

 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Hello My Girlfriends!

I apologize for the huge time gaps between blogs this past month. Not because of writer's block, or lack of interest in writing to you, but instead my life has taken an interesting twist that has thwarted my efforts to write daily. In the midst of mourning the upcoming loss of day to day contact with my youngest daughter (remember she is heading to college in just two weeks), my husband was offered a job promotion that requires a move even farther away from all of my girls.

So, ladies, I know you have heard Proverbs 3:5-6 quoted many, many times, but I am here to tell you that God gave us this piece of wisdom for a good reason. In the difficult and trying times, trusting in the Lord and believing His ways definitely lessens the pain and angst. I am submitting my life to Him, trusting that He will bring all things together for our good and His glory, just as He has done the past twelve moves in our married life!

Funny thing about trust, you must stick to your convictions and faith in all situations, including superstitious ones! Here I am, moving for the thirteenth time, listing my house on Friday the 13th, and finding that my mind wants to freak out over the numbers. Man-made silliness, I know, but I had to take my thoughts captive to overcome the uneasiness.

So, as I work feverishly this week to prepare my home for showings and appraisals, I am thinking of you and compiling blog topics in my mind.  Be ready for the barrage in August!!

I also want to thank God for Girlfriends who step to help in when life throws these curve balls. I am grateful for the helping hands and praying hearts that serve our family in love and friendship. Praise to God that this earth, wherever we reside on it, is only our temporary home. By God's grace, we look forward to eternity in one another's presence, with tea, snacks, flowers, candles, conversation, and laughter abounding.

I am so blessed!

Love to you all!

Walk By Faith

For we walk by faith, not by sight:

2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV

A Walk

This lovely morning, I walked in our neighborhood with a girlfriend who lives across the street from me. Traversing the sidewalks, we commented on the appearance of various landscaping, additions to homes, fences and siding color schemes, and the upkeep of land owned by the Franciscan Village. My friend wants to make some changes in her own landscaping, and my house needs painting. Naturally, we desire aesthetic beauty for the exterior of our property, yet we also discussed the housing market. When the time comes to relocate, will we recoup the costs invested? 

After a lengthy hike, including huffing up and down the hill, we stood in my driveway still discussing our opinions and choices. To my surprise, a woman appeared from around the corner of my house, sweeping the sidewalk with a white cane. I whispered to my friend, asking if she knew the lady, which she did not. As she turned toward us, I called out to our dog to move off the sidewalk, to which the woman replied that she was not afraid of Oreo. (Mighty brave, I thought, since earlier my friend and I got nervous seeing a dog restrained by an invisible fence!)

Lola stopped and chatted with us for awhile. She shared how her failing sight has presented her with new challenges and limits her freedom; however, she seemed determined to overcome her disability. Expressing how her family assists her, Lola also asserted that she must become self-sufficient in case she should ever be alone. Hence, her journey outside! This time she was walking around two blocks, but her first trip was simply on her block. Fourteen minutes, she exclaimed, was how long that first excursion took. She was driven to cut that time down, avoid falling, and master the use of the white cane. My friend and I encouraged and congratulated her as she continued toward home. 

A Walk by Faith

I now realize that I have previously met Lola. I remember her pushing a stroller with her six month old granddaughter and stopping to chat in my driveway. The contrast between the two meetings is stark. A short time ago, Lola walked as my friend and I did today, viewing the trees, flowers, grass, brick and painted homes, fences and pools. She probably pointed out birds and squirrels to her little grandchild. But today, Lola walks by faith, not by sight. Faith in a white cane to notify her of uneven pavement, street corners, and other sidewalk impediments. Faith in her other senses to alert her to animals, pedestrians, oncoming vehicles, and more. Faith in her own confidence to conquer her failing eyesight and overcome resulting limitations.

Lola encourages me today to examine my own walk. Am I relying too much on my sight to guide me? Do I place too much emphasis on outward appearances, whether it is landscaping, curb appeal or my own physical body? In what areas is God calling me to walk by faith in His plan and His priorities rather than by what I see as the way or the goal? Do I trust Him with my family, my home, my finances, my health, my life, even when the answers are I seek appear dark and hidden?

Faithfully Walking With God

The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. Genesis 2:15

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.1 Corinthians 6:19-20

I do believe that God instructs to care for ourselves and to be good stewards of the world in which we live. I read it in His Word to me. He also tells me that I am to value Him above all created things. Therein lies my challenge--my task--to overcome my tendency to value what I can experience with my senses over what I experience by faith alone: my Lord and Savior.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

Girlfriends, today, I thank Lola for her courage to walk by faith. She has inspired me. Yes, I still have appointments for painting and repair estimates, trips to Home Depot for dirt and mulch, and a deck screaming to be stained; however, my top priority daily is conversation with Jesus about the state and condition of my soul and following up with application and maintenance!

Ladies, my prayer for you today is simple: May you walk by faith, not by sight. Without having seen, I pray you will believe that Jesus died for you sins--past, present and future--and accept His salvation offered by grace through His atonement. I pray you will schedule a soul examination with yourself and God: How important are appearances to you? Are you being a good steward of God's gifts to you, or are you valuing the gift more than the Giver? I pray time with the Lord will reveal answers and solutions which you implement. And I pray for Lola, and any of you, struggling with a physical challenge that threatens the ability to walk, to go forward in life. I say it again, may God give you the strength, courage, and desire to walk by faith!

Love to you all!

TrUSt

  It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans. Psalm 118:8 NIV 

Girlfriends, in whom do you place your trust?

Seriously, think about it. Do you trust your spouse? Your parents? Your siblings? Your best friend? Your co-workers or classmates? Your teachers or pastor? Your dog? Yourself?

Trust No One

Many will say, "Trust no one." Looking at the world today, that advice seems sound. People disappoint one another at every turn. Infidelity, betrayal, and divorce are rampant. The news headlines today scream about Secret Service Agents engaging with prostitutes; parents stealing $1M from a disabled son's trust find; and classmates being DNA swabbed in efforts to find a 13 year old's killer. The only good news comes surprisingly from dogs in Los Angeles:

"A loyal Labrador Retriever named Maggie, who was videotaped as she guarded the body of a yellow Lab hit and killed by a car in Southern California, was reunited with her family today....Maggie's loyalty to the dead dog was so poignant and so risky that shelter workers nicknamed her Grace, as in "Amazing Grace." The video shows traffic speeding by just a few feet from the dogs."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/04/17/loyal-dog-who-stayed-by-dead-dog-side-reunited-with-family/#ixzz1sJi99Wpu

Leave it to the dogs to put the "us" in "trust"!

Why Trust?

I have suffered the hurt and disappointment of broken trust. Sorry to say, I have also been the perpetrator of shattered trust. Can any among us claim otherwise? As today's Psalm tells us, God is the only One in whom we can have perfect trust...even our dogs will run away, chasing squirrels, birds, or one another, given the time and freedom!

Yet, I want to be a trusting person. Being married to law enforcement can challenge me in that area. Because he daily sees the evil face of human nature, my husband can make me edgy at times. Constantly reminding me to lock the doors, hang on to my purse, or face the entrance/exits in a restaurant, he fears for our safety because he knows what the psalmist wrote: our only true safe haven is refuge in the Lord.

Nonetheless, I fancy myself to be a genuinely trusting person. I believe in the goodness of man as created in the image of God. We know Jesus conquered sin on the cross and ultimately His Goodness wins. So I try to live life accrediting righteousness to the people I encounter unless otherwise shown. I guess I just do not want to live under the shadow of mistrust and skepticism all the days of my existence, which is the reason I could never do the job my husband thankfully performs. I do not want to acknowledge and face evil on this earth. I seek justice, yet I love grace and mercy.

For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth. Psalm 71:5 ESV


Do I Really Trust?

So, ladies, by now you may be wondering just why I have a photo of Mandisa and friends at the top of this blog for the Girls' Night Live Tour, and what does it have to do with trusting? (If you are not wondering that because my blog is so long that you have already forgotten what photo was at the top of the page, do not feel bad. My brain works that way too!)

Mandisa's music has been an inspiration to Joslyn through her pain and medical struggles. So a few weeks ago, my daughter invited me to attend this show with her.  The performances sold out in a matter of minutes, and she had only gotten two tickets. When this past weekend arrived, we needed another ticket for either my mother-in-law or my best friend to also attend. Joslyn put out a message on the local Christian radio station's facebook page and soon received numerous offers. I texted a response and located a ticket.

Now, friends, here is where the trust part comes into play. The woman making this offer was so kind. She scanned and emailed the ticket to me without any form of prior payment or identification. She simply trusted me to mail her a check for the cost, which did not even include the fees she had paid by the way! She also told me that she was using a scanned ticket for the show the night before we were to attend and would let me know if she encountered any difficulties.

"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10
 
Now, you would think I would imitate her nature and mail that $20 check asap. After all, she modeled the trusting nature I admire and seek to claim. Unfortunately, a little voice crept in my head warning me to wait until after the show just to be sure the ticket was legitimate. Doubt. Apprehension. I could not even trust myself to be the trusting person I think I am.
Ugh!
Why?
Well, just that day, my daughter's friends had bought tickets from a man outside the Cardinals stadium for the 2012 World Series Champions' Home Opener game. When they reached the gate, they were told the tickets had already been scanned for admission. They had been scammed to the tune of $300. Another example of deception and dishonesty for worldly gain. That memory was fresh in my head.

A greedy man stirs up dissension, but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper. Prov 28:5

Trust Anyway

Dictionary.com defines TRUST as "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc, of a person or thing; confident expectation of something; hope." 


Girlfriends, I want to trust. I desire faith and confidence in my family, friends, associates and the public. I regret that I doubted this sweet woman who placed her trust in me. (I mailed her a check including the fees in a thank you card for her kindness.)  Yet, I also know that God is calling me to put in Him my ultimate faith and trust for salvation from this broken world. He is the Only One Who will never betray my trust in Him.

My prayer for you today is that you will spend some time reflecting upon "trust." In whom do you trust and why? Who trusts you and why? Do you trust in the Lord? Can the Lord trust you? Pray about it!


Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV


Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant. 2 Samuel 7:28 NIV


But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. Psalm 13:5

Addressing Anger

"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

Ephesians 4:26

 
Girlfriends, yesterday I told you how much I love you.
Today, I want to declare my respect for each one of you!

Your feedback to my blog both inspires and encourages me. Honest evaluations assist me with my format and content; however, your expressions of raw emotion, self-evaluation, and deep desire to draw nearer to the Lord are truly my motivation to continue writing! I respect the transparency with which you share your heartfelt responses to what God speaks through me when I sit down at the computer. I honor you for facing your fears, shortcomings, questions, and insecurities as you seek growth, depth, and intimacy in your relationships, both with God and with others. I am amazed at your strength and stamina as you seek to employ the spiritual gifts with which you have been blessed. I adore the fact that God allows me to walk with astounding female role models from all seasons of life. In short, I respect you!

Respect.


This snowy morning, I lit a candle and sat down to read my emails. (Don't worry, I am not reading by candlelight; we have electricity. I simply enjoy the ambiance created as well as the scent of Yankee candles!) My joy soon grew as I received a note from a special woman, someone to whom I am deeply attached as a result of a calamitous event. She wrote a loving response to my devotionals but what touched me was her open admission of anger over the aforementioned event. My friend is wrestling with God over the unbearable pain and anguish my daughter, whom my friend loves, is suffering. I respect both this friend's honesty and her willingness to go on the offensive for someone who is not even a blood relative. This woman chooses to love and chooses to risk confronting God over that love. How can I not respect her? Yet, at the same time, out of my love for this woman, I was concerned about the chasm created in her relationship with God. I want to share what I've learned about anger through these disastrous months.

Anger.

I believe anger is an emotion God allows us to experience as much as happiness, sadness, surprise, or fear. In Ephesians 4:26-27, He tells us, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." As I interpret that passage, we will experience anger but we are to both remain self-controlled and to deal with our anger in a timely manner. We are not to sin in our anger nor hold on to it for great length because Satan then gains a stronghold in our minds.

Anger is often justified, a righteous anger. Jesus himself was angry when the moneychangers defiled the temple; their actions were an insult to someone He loved, His Father. Matthew 21: 12-13 states, "Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.“It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a ‘den of robbers.' "



These passages help me with the anger I feel when I know my daughter is suffering excruciating pain and my only thought in that moment is "Stop. Please, please, please, can't the pain stop?" Of course, my thoughts and questions are directed to God because I trust that He could stop the agony in a millisecond if He so willed. How then do I not become what I feel is righteously angry with Him when she continues to agonize? I have learned two things: One, to direct my anger where it belongs: at Satan; and Two, that while I completely trust in God's sovereign power to release Joslyn from Satan's attack and to heal her body instantly, I also trust in His sovereign power to choose when, how, and why He will act, for His glory and for His eternal plan for Joslyn. 

Anger.


My anger is directed at Satan, a murderer and the father of all lies. (John 8:44) God labels him as our enemy, the devil prowling around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) He is the one who instigated the fall of humans (Genesis 3) and thereby planted seeds of all sickness and disorder that grow in our world. He makes me hopping mad! I actually surprised myself on a walk last weekend in St Louis. I was praying for Joslyn and felt that anger surge up inside of me.  I found myself speaking, out loud and very adamantly, to Satan. I did not realize for many minutes that I was fervently rebuking him for all to hear. Thankfully I was by myself on a fairly deserted street, or someone may have called the police to come arrest me for disturbing the peace!

As crazy as I may sound, I have to tell you, Girlfriends, I felt so good when I was done ranting. I did not give him the satisfaction of cursing or losing control, but I openly admonished Satan and used Jesus's example from Luke 4: I told him what God says about the issue. "It is written...."  I knew I had finally talked to the "right person"--gave the message to the one responsible for this mess, told him what I thought about it, and made absolutely clear that he was not welcome, not winning, and not allowed to be near my family! I realized Satan is the source of my anger and therefore the one to whom I will direct it. 

Truth and Trust

More importantly, I reaffirmed that God is Truth. He is the source of my joy and therefore the one to whom I will grant my love, honor, and praise. He did not cause this accident. As I said before, I trust that the Lord could heal Joslyn just as much as I believe Jesus knew His Father could take the cup of suffering and dying upon the cross from Him. The key is in Jesus's prayer: yet not my will, but yours be done. Luke 22:42  If Jesus could pray this way, certainly I can trust in what He knew...God has a plan and purpose that is far greater than the pain, greater than my desires for my daughter. Do I direct her paths, or does He? (Proverbs 16:9)

Knowledge and belief in the Truth give me peace, but I will admit that they do not restrain me from sobbing into my pillow in the early morning hours after praying Joslyn through horrible pain. My heart still aches and breaks as she is mentally, emotionally, or physically attacked time and time again. That anger and frustration well up, but when I release it in the correct place I find I can once again focus on hope and trust. As loudly as I admonished Satan, I praise my Lord. I repeat "I trust you, Jesus. I trust you." I even sing Third Day's song, I Trust In Jesus, to embolden my spirit and resolve to see her and her husband through this trial. Last week, I laid in bed at 3 am whispering, until I fell asleep in my Savior's arms, Philippians 4:6-7-- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

So, my dear Girlfriends, that is what I have learned about anger, and trust, and truth, and more. Will you please join me in prayer for not only my faithful friend who wrote to me this morning, but also for every person struggling with circumstances that arouse anger? Will you also examine your own life and ask God to reveal His truth to you about anger?

Ladies, while you allow me to share my journey with you, I am grateful for every thought, note, or story that you release to me. God created you for a wonderful purpose, and I respect how you are pursuing that purpose passionately. Enjoy this wonderful weekend!