"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Ephesians 4:26
Girlfriends, yesterday I told you how much I love you.
Today, I want to declare my respect for each one of you!
Your feedback to my blog both inspires and encourages me. Honest evaluations assist me with my format and content; however, your expressions of raw emotion, self-evaluation, and deep desire to draw nearer to the Lord are truly my motivation to continue writing! I respect the transparency with which you share your heartfelt responses to what God speaks through me when I sit down at the computer. I honor you for facing your fears, shortcomings, questions, and insecurities as you seek growth, depth, and intimacy in your relationships, both with God and with others. I am amazed at your strength and stamina as you seek to employ the spiritual gifts with which you have been blessed. I adore the fact that God allows me to walk with astounding female role models from all seasons of life. In short, I respect you!
Respect.
This snowy morning, I lit a candle and sat down to read my emails. (Don't worry, I am not reading by candlelight; we have electricity. I simply enjoy the ambiance created as well as the scent of Yankee candles!) My joy soon grew as I received a note from a special woman, someone to whom I am deeply attached as a result of a calamitous event. She wrote a loving response to my devotionals but what touched me was her open admission of anger over the aforementioned event. My friend is wrestling with God over the unbearable pain and anguish my daughter, whom my friend loves, is suffering. I respect both this friend's honesty and her willingness to go on the offensive for someone who is not even a blood relative. This woman chooses to love and chooses to risk confronting God over that love. How can I not respect her? Yet, at the same time, out of my love for this woman, I was concerned about the chasm created in her relationship with God. I want to share what I've learned about anger through these disastrous months.
Anger.
I believe anger is an emotion God allows us to experience as much as happiness, sadness, surprise, or fear. In Ephesians 4:26-27, He tells us, "In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." As I interpret that passage, we will experience anger but we are to both remain self-controlled and to deal with our anger in a timely manner. We are not to sin in our anger nor hold on to it for great length because Satan then gains a stronghold in our minds.
Anger is often justified, a righteous anger. Jesus himself was angry when the moneychangers defiled the temple; their actions were an insult to someone He loved, His Father. Matthew 21: 12-13 states, "Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.“It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a ‘den of robbers.' "
These passages help me with the anger I feel when I know my daughter is suffering excruciating pain and my only thought in that moment is "Stop. Please, please, please, can't the pain stop?" Of course, my thoughts and questions are directed to God because I trust that He could stop the agony in a millisecond if He so willed. How then do I not become what I feel is righteously angry with Him when she continues to agonize? I have learned two things: One, to direct my anger where it belongs: at Satan; and Two, that while I completely trust in God's sovereign power to release Joslyn from Satan's attack and to heal her body instantly, I also trust in His sovereign power to choose when, how, and why He will act, for His glory and for His eternal plan for Joslyn.
Anger.
My anger is directed at Satan, a murderer and the father of all lies. (John 8:44) God labels him as our enemy, the devil prowling around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) He is the one who instigated the fall of humans (Genesis 3) and thereby planted seeds of all sickness and disorder that grow in our world. He makes me hopping mad! I actually surprised myself on a walk last weekend in St Louis. I was praying for Joslyn and felt that anger surge up inside of me. I found myself speaking, out loud and very adamantly, to Satan. I did not realize for many minutes that I was fervently rebuking him for all to hear. Thankfully I was by myself on a fairly deserted street, or someone may have called the police to come arrest me for disturbing the peace!
As crazy as I may sound, I have to tell you, Girlfriends, I felt so good when I was done ranting. I did not give him the satisfaction of cursing or losing control, but I openly admonished Satan and used Jesus's example from Luke 4: I told him what God says about the issue. "It is written...." I knew I had finally talked to the "right person"--gave the message to the one responsible for this mess, told him what I thought about it, and made absolutely clear that he was not welcome, not winning, and not allowed to be near my family! I realized Satan is the source of my anger and therefore the one to whom I will direct it.
Truth and Trust
More importantly, I reaffirmed that God is Truth. He is the source of my joy and therefore the one to whom I will grant my love, honor, and praise. He did not cause this accident. As I said before, I trust that the Lord could heal Joslyn just as much as I believe Jesus knew His Father could take the cup of suffering and dying upon the cross from Him. The key is in Jesus's prayer: yet not my will, but yours be done. Luke 22:42 If Jesus could pray this way, certainly I can trust in what He knew...God has a plan and purpose that is far greater than the pain, greater than my desires for my daughter. Do I direct her paths, or does He? (Proverbs 16:9)
Knowledge and belief in the Truth give me peace, but I will admit that they do not restrain me from sobbing into my pillow in the early morning hours after praying Joslyn through horrible pain. My heart still aches and breaks as she is mentally, emotionally, or physically attacked time and time again. That anger and frustration well up, but when I release it in the correct place I find I can once again focus on hope and trust. As loudly as I admonished Satan, I praise my Lord. I repeat "I trust you, Jesus. I trust you." I even sing Third Day's song, I Trust In Jesus, to embolden my spirit and resolve to see her and her husband through this trial. Last week, I laid in bed at 3 am whispering, until I fell asleep in my Savior's arms, Philippians 4:6-7-- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
So, my dear Girlfriends, that is what I have learned about anger, and trust, and truth, and more. Will you please join me in prayer for not only my faithful friend who wrote to me this morning, but also for every person struggling with circumstances that arouse anger? Will you also examine your own life and ask God to reveal His truth to you about anger?
Ladies, while you allow me to share my journey with you, I am grateful for every thought, note, or story that you release to me. God created you for a wonderful purpose, and I respect how you are pursuing that purpose passionately. Enjoy this wonderful weekend!
